Title Intentionally Left Bank

I feel torn in two sometimes - between my professional and personal lives. I don't understand where I draw a line between my two lives. Right now, its only Arjun and me, and already I feel torn in two at times. I wonder what I'm going to do when we have kids. If they'r unwell and I have to go to office, I wonder how I'l do it. I know there will be times when I may miss a school function or sports day, but I don't know how I'l do it. It scares me. When we have kids, I am going to be a SAHM for a couple of years, but then what? I'd go crazy if I gave up work permanently. Who's going to hire me again after a couple of years? My contemporaries would be ahead of me and so would my juniors. My family would go crazy and disown me if I focussed wholely and solely on them - I'd only end up driving them up the wall :P

I love my work. I want kids and a family and the whole works - but it's the balance thing which is right down scary. How would I draw a line between my personal and professional lives? When would I know when to skip the school function and attend the meeting or when do I postpone the meeting and attend the school function? Wise people tell me that at that time I will have to take a call on the situation and listen to my heart. Knowing me, my heart would be torn in two. How do you do it?

Anonymous says:

23 February 2009 at 18:01

Don't worry, buddy! Every woman goes through this. The only ones who don't are Parvati, Tulsi and Kkasturi. The rest of us, aam junta has to choose. Sometimes we choose right...and sometimes we choose wrong, but so long as we know we have done our best, its OK. Its OK to not be THE PERFET MOM, and its OK to not be THE STAR EMPLOYEE. And its perfectly OK to be average in everything and still manage to remain happy and bubbly.
Cheers...

24 February 2009 at 01:12

I suppose at some point this would be any woman's dilemma.

And the wise people also say you will figure it out when you get there.

24 February 2009 at 10:40

Ah I havnt even been able to decide whether I want kids :d.but I hear ya. Every womanz dilemma. Jab hoga tab dekheinge na :). Naako tension abhi.

Rachita Bansal says:

24 February 2009 at 11:25

I think you can.. knowing you- I bet as hell you can. You are an amazing woman and I know you care for friends, husband and job full time so when you add a little baby to the list, all these people and ur dearest doting hubby will care for u too.. and ur job- a little break may be necessary but you won't have to give everything up. Maybe go part time for a couple of years. Love you girl, don't think too much.. go for it.

Ashish Surana says:

24 February 2009 at 12:40

when the time will come,Everything would automatically fall into its place, Till then be positive and enjoy the life :)

Rià says:

24 February 2009 at 22:40

U will do it when the time comes babe!dont worry thinking abt all this right now. There is a way out for everything. Just wait for things to happen and go with the flow. I knw its easier said than done but at times this is all u need to do!

Tarun says:

26 February 2009 at 00:51

I think the matter is complex,but the solution is simple u may just want to try it though.

Whenever the dilemma torn u apart,just ask yourself whats your priority at that point in time.

I know application of this

Nikhil Menon says:

26 February 2009 at 12:10

Its a womans thingy,u think so??not really..Coz everyone cums to the crossroads at sum point tho women do feel the heat more coz they got much more things to manage..And I dun rly kno if am the rite person to be giving u advise on this.Life needs to be prioritized between work and PR's..

Which one u weigh more is a personal choice and do take both ur heart and ur mind into te equation.coz anyone out of the two aint rly a great idea,I kno how it wud go then.. :)

Take care..

Nikhil

SMM says:

26 February 2009 at 14:04

Hey Pallavi...my mom said exactly the same thing :)

She said one need not and cannot be perfect...to just do whatever seems right at that time

26 February 2009 at 14:05

Oh well J...that's the tough part. One gets to know only when one is there

26 February 2009 at 14:06

Roop....the dilemma is not whether or not to have kids - bit how will I manage when I have them ?

Thanks for the vote of confidence Rach :)

26 February 2009 at 14:09

Ashish...I have seen that things do not automatically fall into place. One has to plan for them.

26 February 2009 at 14:12

Ria...its just tough to go along with the flow not knowing where I'm headed though. It' very tough in fact

26 February 2009 at 14:13

Hey Tarun...my mom said something similar. She said to do whatever seems right at that time to me :)

26 February 2009 at 14:14

Hey Nikhil...yup this is a dilemma which I guess every working woman faces at some point or the other - and each has to choose it her way and decide what is more important. I am just scared what if my decision turns out to b wrong later?

Quaint Murmur says:

27 February 2009 at 00:46

I think that's a choice you'll make naturally when you reach the point where you have to. Don't stress about it now. (Not that I have experience in these matters, but I think about these things too) :)
And you know what- things may just sail so smoothly, you'll never know you chose at all.
And I'm sure you'll strike a balance somehow. :)

27 February 2009 at 11:31

Ria, I find alot of other women my age going through this dilemma and everyone has their own priorities. It's just tough to wait and see what's going to happen and take things as they come

27 February 2009 at 21:44

Say hi to ur Mom.

:D

hehehehhehehehehe

Cosmic Joy says:

28 February 2009 at 00:29

Would adopting a kid who is not a new-born solve the issue?