Side-effects of being an Advocate

Posted by SMM on 16:00

You own an entire wardrove in black and white and you own at least 5-6 pairs of shoes/ sandals in black
You think wearing light pink on a weekday is very colourful
You do a good imitation of Govinda's fondness for colours on weekends
You often begin your sentences as 'I humbly submit....' or 'BECAUSE...' or 'That it has been conclusively held...' or 'My learned friend does not appreciate that...' or 'Qua...' and then wonder why people think it's odd
You humbly 'pray' before your 'Ld. Senior' for leave and state that the said prayer will not adversely affect any other party
You are often accosted by various autowalas/ strangers on the road when they see you coming out of court to represent them on their land/ dowry/ divorce/ family dispute matters and they start telling you in agonising detail all about it
You send your credit card company a detailed letter about the late payment penalty and sign off as Advocate and they reverse the charges (Yup that actually happened to me)
You don't get a car loan or any other loan or if you do, you have to pay pretty high interest on it
You tell your credit card company that your a consultant
You promise your dhobi that you will draft a legal notice on his behalf if he promsies to bring your clothes on time
You demand a statement for charges levied on your account by the Bank and after perusing the same you write to the Bank that the charges levied are in violation of the Apex Court's judgment and if not reversed within 7 working days, appropriate proceeings shall be instituted in the appropiate forum and they shall be responsible for all costs incurred
You are told not to be a lawyer (like its a dirty word) when your fighting with the other half
You get accused of being a lawyer. PERIOD

32 Comments

sanely insane says:

9 July 2009 at 16:12

Dil pe mat lo...dignity of labour and all that jazz :P

jst kidding :P

normaltusker says:

9 July 2009 at 17:01

waah!!! matlab you are fulltoo taking the blows!!! i dunno whether i must be glad i am not a lawyer or i must be sad that i am not a lawyer! upto my 10th, i always aspired to be one! :)

Nikhil Menon says:

9 July 2009 at 17:39

That was a wonderful read.. Yeah,Life can be pretty much so..Imagine the doctor with the coat and all that?? You atleast have two colors.. :P :D

But then,every job has its own profile in the society,u just gotta live on.. :)

Take care.. :)

Nikhil

Rià says:

9 July 2009 at 17:43

That was interesting!!i think every profession has its own side effects. :)

M says:

9 July 2009 at 18:53

LOL!

"You are often accosted by various autowalas/ strangers on the road when they see you coming out of court to represent them on their land/ dowry/ divorce/ family dispute matters and they start telling you in agonising detail all about it"

Really??? This happens??

Magical Homes says:

9 July 2009 at 19:59

Fun read!

Anonymous says:

9 July 2009 at 21:29

the bank stuff/cc thingy rocks though.

Utopia says:

9 July 2009 at 23:02

Hahahha! My standard line of defence to crank callers and prank calls is " main vakeel hoon." They never call back dude! So much of fun it is.

Arjun says:

10 July 2009 at 15:43

ok - so this is a touchy topic.
I never accuse you of being a lawyer and I know that it is difficult to win arguments with you on the basis of your being a woman and a lawyer to boot.

LOL you're paid to argue... and win!

so i have to ask you to desist from lawyerly debating methodology when engaged in domestic confrontations. It makes me feel better - though i still never win

Anonymous says:

10 July 2009 at 17:44

ROFL

brilliant read, can u send me the copy of the letter u send to the bank... that was the best

Anonymous says:

11 July 2009 at 09:27

Hilarious comeback post.Next time I am going to threaten credit card guys that I have a lawyer friend ,who kicks ass.

Anonymous says:

12 July 2009 at 01:04

LOL, nice read! And Arjun's comment on this post was totally apt. May there be more and more advocates like you.

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:31

@ sanely insane

Welcome to my blog :)

Dil pe nahi le rahi hoon...just some of the side effects for ppl to know what we poor advocates go through

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:32

@ Nirav Thakker

Bhelcome to my blog Tusker :)

I always aspired to be Julia Roberts...pata nahi kaise ghumte firte lawyer ba gayi :P

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:33

@ MultiMenon

Nikil, the docs wear COLOURED CLOTHES below their lab coats, unlike us poor advocates. We wera black and white and a black coat and gown on top :(

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:34

@ Ria

Put up some side effects of eing a banker and tell us :)

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:36

@ Miss M

Yes it happens. Its hapened quite a few times in fact. I even has a strange woman accost me once and follow me to my office and tell me about the atyachar her husband did.

I probably shouldn't make merry of them, but its just that being a lawyer does not mean I am somw magician to give you a remedy or a shrink who will sit and listen to your stories

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:36

@ Mumbai Diva

Thanks :)

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:37

@ J

Yup it sure does when you beat them at their own game. Helps that I deal with financial frauds too :P

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:38

@ Utopia

Yup i do tht too. I told Citibank for their constant reminders for payment that I would report them :P

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:39

@ Arjun

You have stopped using that line only recently and I do not use any lawyerly debating ,thodology when arguing with you. I win you over with some plain and simple logic :P

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:39

@ Monika

We have quite a few leters...whcih one do you want :P

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:40

@ Lostie

Comeback post? When did I go away girl? I was just busy with work since the courts had reopened.

Arjun tells all the callers tht his wife is an advocate. Works wonders :P

SMM says:

13 July 2009 at 15:41

@ Pallavi

Thanks :)

Moses John Wesley says:

14 July 2009 at 09:07

fantstic :)

DewdropDream says:

15 July 2009 at 03:25

That was a fun read :)

My younger brother's going to be a lawyer fairly soon... I can't wait to see the fun when he starts talking laywer-lingo.

Anu says:

16 July 2009 at 02:45

What is black and white and red all over..?
Answer : A sunburnt lawyer on a beach vacation !

Had to put that in.. but look at the advantages,you can threaten to sue anyone and they will always think ur serious :D

Priyanka says:

16 July 2009 at 10:44

Lol. I envy you if the bank/credit card thingie actually happens...
Love your blog, btw.

SMM says:

16 July 2009 at 17:36

@ Johnnie

Thanks :)

Ron says:

17 July 2009 at 15:46

Hahahahahahahahhaha!!! This was hilarious. You actually made that trade with your dhobi!!? Hehehehehehehhe!!

the mad momma says:

28 July 2009 at 19:17

ROFL. this was a good one!