I Don't Hate....I Intensely Dislike

Posted by SMM on 17:38
I intensely dislike the following kind of people:

  • Those who are constantly whining about their life, their boyfriend, their boss, their job - basically, just about anything
  • Those who are unfamiliar with basic etiquette like saying 'Good Morning' or giving an acknowledging smile
  • Those who permanently have their face grumpy and can't be bothered to smile
  • Those who try to avoid work by pretending they are extremely busy doing the nth final correction of 'an oh so important' matter' which is not eve going to be filed for a month at least
  • Those who suck up to people
  • Those who feel good by having such leeches around
  • Those who state that they are the only ones who know everything and the rest of us are all fools and got our degrees by paying money or sleeping around, or try to insinuate so
  • Those who try to fob off their own work
  • Those who will hog when you treat, but ask them to go dutch and they immediately say they are not hungry
  • Those who say they are dieting but immediately come and eat half my chocolate the moment they see it
  • Those who tell us what the office decorum permits and what it does not, while blatantly flouting it themselves
  • Those who keep disappearing for fictitious meetings
  • Those who can't take responsibility for their own work


Pregnancy Pact?

Posted by SMM on 16:00

There are 17 expectant mothers. The expectant mothers are teens, none older than 16, in Gloucester High School in a Massachusetts fishing town. This is 4 times the number of pregnancies the school had in the previous year. The School Principal has mentioned a pact made by the teens wherein they all agreed to get pregnant and raise their children together. Girls started coming in for pregnancy tests in October and on hearing the results some girls were upset that they weren't pregnant. This strictly Catholic town is apparently not very keen on contraceptives and birth cntrol methods being made readily available. They were highly opposed to contraceptives being handed out in schools. Another thing of note is that the economy of the town, which was majorly dependant on the fishing industry has now been mostly banglored, as a result of which many families have now broken apart. These girls have probably been pulled apart in the intra-parent politics or had to contend with neither parent wanting them.

The school has a creche within the premises. Strollers dot the halls.
Sex-ed classes for the freshmen. The school has definitely done a good job
of supporting young teenage mothers, and maybe even encouraging them.

The town people seem to have finally woken up not because of the teen pregnancies or the rising number, but because the teens entered into a pact and decided to get pregnant and raise their children together. Makes sense to me. If mother can' stop screaming and father can't get off his bottle, I would much rather be with friends rather than family. Makes sense to build up a support system within friends rather than depend on the moods and whims of unsupportive parents. I'd rather bring up my child among a group of like-minded people who also happen to be my friends, rather than a broken family. Dos it sound surprising or shocking? Not to me.

What however does sound surprising to me is that the town has made no attempt to teach its children to practice safe sex (in more ways than one)? The town is pretty much opposed to contraceptives, but has no problem if their 16 year old daughter becomes a mother, and probably does not know who is the father? The town is opposed to the idea of the girls forming a pact to get pregnant and raise their children together, but the girls know that sometime or the other they will get pregnant and they'r smart enough to acknowledge that they need a suppot system. Raising a child as a single unwed mother with not much education is very very tough.

Maybe instead of looking into the reason behind the pregnancies, the town and the school should look into reducing the incidence of teen pregnancies.



Posted by SMM on 14:33
Heylooooo....I came across this really interesting game called Wordzzle on Raven's site. The rules of the game are simple. A list of random words are given and we have to weave them together and form a cohesive paragraph. The words for this week are:

Solitaire, pathological, grackles, alternative life style, manifest destiny, polarization, ugly duckling, folding chairs, flibberty-gibbet, hand grenade

So here's my first attempt (Drumroll please):

Rainy Sunny afternoon. Weighty decision to make - Play Solitaire and watch the grackles play outside or study for her upcoming exam and deal with borrrrring topics like manifest destiny and polarization and pathological. Trying to decide, she meandered off to think of the differences between her and her sister. She had been born into a family of flibberty-gibbets. She had followed what her parents called an 'alternate lifestyle', just cuz she didn't want to attend Page 3 parties all her life and then marry some rich brat and produce more rich brats. She was the ugly duckling in a family of beauty pageant winners. When she had decided to study Criminal Psychology, it had been like lobbying a hand grenade into their superficial lives. Oh well, she made her decision, got up from the bed and made her way to the rusty old folding chair which was all that she had been able to afford after her parents had stopped her allowance as a means to get her back to a life of never-ending parties, and sat by the widow to study and watch the grackles.

Okie so whaddya say folks?


Random Ramblings

Posted by SMM on 10:59
  • I can't see too well with my right eye since my lens flew out today which fact I discovered only after reaching office and wondering why the newspaper was so blurred today
  • Hubby and me headed toward another solemn step of solemnizing our relation after a year of marriage by opening a joint account
  • I am wearing my new skinny jeans today - sponsored by my Pop and hubby (Aren't I cheap?)
  • I have already received a compliment that I have nice legs
  • I am supposed to be reading a commentary on Res Judicata right now, but my excuse is that the print is too small and I can't see clearly and I'l get a headache if I try reading it
  • I had to meet a friend for coffee n adda/gupshup/gossip session/ b**** fest today but I had to postpone it to Tuesday
  • I am NOT having a bad hair day today thankfully, which is what I have 5 out of 7 days in a week
  • I am hungry cuz I woke up late and ended up skipping breakfast otherwise hubby and me would have got late for office so I'm thinking of eating something. Just trying to figure out what
  • Today's a Saturday so we generally have a good lunch in office
  • This time next Saturday I shall be on tenterhooks cuz we have the reunion planned for that day
  • I love being in the middle of things
  • I like organizing parties and meeting friends for coffee
  • The last time I bought something was two shirts for office - one was white with black stripes and the other one is black with white stripes (Well I wear black n white 6 days a week so for me that's two different shirts, and well if I took the 2nd one I got a 20% of on it)
  • I want to buy a pair of red stilletoes but wonder where I would wear them cuz I'm convinced they are only going to lie in their lovely shoe bags in my wardrobe
  • I have two pretty suit material, both in different shades of blue which I have to get stitched
  • I am thinking of buying a pair of shoes, but maybe not this month
  • I love listening to 'Annie's Song' by John Denver. I made the hubby sing it on the phone for me onetime before we got married.
  • 'Annie's Song' is also my caller tune. I have received messages from friends sometimes where they have asked me not pick up their call cuz they only want to listen to the song and not talk to me :P
  • My previous caller tune was 'Ya Ali'
  • I am brilliant at typos when I am chatting
  • I am a poor Orkut and Facebook deprived soul since they have been blocked in office
  • I am enjoying the second last week of court vacations and wearing jeans to office
  • I had a nice chat with my sis this morning where she said I look good with new haircut :)
  • I often end up using legal phrases while talking
  • While reading a John Grisham once, I totally forgot that I was reading fiction and started highlighting lines cuz I though I was reading one of my law books
  • Once I got over that, I picked up the highlighted lines and used it in one of my reports :P
  • I would double my internship assignments as papers for college
  • When I get drunk I do weird funny things and know that I am doing them and am being stupid but can't seem to stop myself
  • The hubby has seen me drunk twice and had a good laugh both times, and still keeps ribbing me about it
  • I am not all that fond of alcohol and can happily survive without it for days
  • But I need my Pepsi (yes I know that it's bad for the teeth)
  • And my coffee (kya kare - I like the bad stuff)
  • I am thrilled cuz I managed to change the HTML code n my blog to upload this blogskin which I downloaded from the net
  • My tech savviness is average - the hubby more than makes up for my lack of it :P
  • I used to be an extremely loud and fast talker until I practiced in front of the mirror and improved on it. Now my boss tells me that I deliver well in court (he does not know the history)
  • I practised for hours in front of a mirror after I was adjudged as a 'poor speaker' in my first moot and for the next moot I was complimented by the Judge on my delivery
  • I really loved mooting (a moot is a mock court where students are given a case and a side and we prepare for it just like any self-respecting Supreme Court lawyer would do)
  • I get a high everytime I wear my band and gown -it makes the years of study and staying away from home worth it
  • I learnt to cook only after I got married - now I am a decent cook. So if you come home I won't send you away hungry at least :)
  • I am not fond of the colour yellow in my clothes. I don't own anything in that colour.
  • My favourite colour in clothes is fuschia pink/ rani colour
  • I wonder how 'Tis Hazari' got its name (its one of the Lower Courts in Delhi)
  • I don't like writing in boring colours like blue and black - my notes are made in a rainbow of colours like pink, orange, green, red, purple, gold, silver etc etc.
  • The day I want to buy something I never find one thing I like, but the day I plan on NOT buying something, I want to buy out all the shops
  • I am pretty-much short tempered and ten minutes later I will be apologising
  • However, if I am of the firm conviction that I am not wrong I will not apologise
  • Yes I have an ego (but its not a humoungous one)
  • I can give attitude as good as I get
  • I am a study in contradictions - I can make strangers my friends fast while among my friends sometimes I feel like a stranger
  • One of my favourite snacks is Chili Chicken dry
  • I miss having vada pavs and dabelis (staples in Maharashtra where I spent 6 years) as evening snacks
  • I can have quite a few puchkas (golgappas/ pani puris - puchka is the Cal version) at a go
  • I like having tangy food
  • My mom makes some really yummmmmmmm boneless chicken
  • I was vegetarian for a year in college till my self-respecting Bengali family threatened to disown me since I was not fit to be taken to anyone's house (yes cuz I was a vegetarian)
  • I am keeping up my family tradition (the family to which I was born) by not having brinjals
  • I have a lovely collection of saris now post marriage
  • I wore my favourite fuschia colour on my engagement and on my reception
  • I am a complete chocaholic
  • I also am an aquaholic
  • I think I have mentioned that in my profile
  • My hubby is the best - he cooks food for me and gets me ice cream and buys me clothes and shoes and entertains all my tantrums
  • Vice versa as well
  • I still can't make chapattis
  • I enjoy pasta
  • I love grilled sandwiches with cheese in them
  • I am trying to wake up early each morning so I can run on the treadmill, but rarely manage. I just need to be more focused from tomorrow
  • My tomorrow will never come at the rate I hog
  • I am a true blue Bong since I have a complete sweet-tooth. I can just not say NO to sweets. If there is nothing available, I will even have a spoon of sugar
  • I have become like this only after I left home
  • I did not eat food till I was 18. I started eating food only after I got to hostel at the age of 18, and the first time I came home and had more than two spoons of rice my parents and grandmom had their jaws drop down and marked the day as a red letter day
  • Give me a choice between chole and chicken, and I'd probably go for chole
  • I love green leafy vegetables (seriously)
  • My dad and I used to play Scrabble every sunday afternoon after lunch while I was in school. That was MY TIME with him
  • I miss my Dad. He's there but he's not there.
  • I miss my mom and her regular scoldings as well. I think she invented e-scolding and phone scolding
  • My favourite meal on a rainy day is khichdi (a dish which is a mix of lentils and rice) and fish fry and achar (pickles)
  • I can't stand the smell of tea and coconut
  • I will be going to Cochin in August for a very close friend's wedding and have asked her to ensure that there will be some non-coconut dish in the menu
  • I enjoy researching
  • Yes I can be a nerd and I can also be a ditsy blonde - that's the Gemini in me
  • I used to play the guitar
  • My close friends think they know me in and out, but even I don't know myself that well. I can still surprise myself.
  • I don't want pity from anyone. I have learnt to live life with a smile on my face even if I am upset about something
  • For me tears are a way to let out my emotions. I do not use them as a bargaining tool
  • I think I have written enough. Congratulations on your patience and thank you as well for making it so far :)


Shame on Them

Posted by SMM on 09:55
I don't know how many of you have managed to catch this new ad for PONDS WHITENING CREAM. It stars Saif Ali Khan, Priyanka Chopra and Neha Dhupia - the first two being pretty big stars who are known all over the world, while the last is a wannabe starlet.

This is a two - part ad where the first part shows Priyanka Chopra all heart broken cuz she was dumped by her guy (Saif Ali Khan), and then she feels even more bad when she sees him walking hand in hand with this fair n pretty young lady (Neha Dhupia) , and that is when our dusky heroine decides to try out 'Ponds Whitening Cream' and become fair.

The second part shows our dusky heroine has now become gori gori (fair) after using the cream and Saif Ali Khan who has been dumped by his fair lady suddenly sees our now very fair heroine and remembers the old times with her and falls in love with her all over again.

I'm wondering how on earth did our three stars agree to do such an ad.

How did Priyanka Chopra who is well known as being a dusky beauty and has represented India at international beauty pageants agree to do such an ad? Fair beauties are very much prized in India while the dusky ones come a far second. By doing such an ad is she putting on display her own inferiority complex? Priyanka is an inspiration to many young girls and their mothers who say ' See, if Priyanka can make it. So can we. We don't need to apply haldi-uptan (turmeric paste) and various fairness creams to become fair and look beautiful.' She being one of the biggest heroines in Bollywood should realize that she is a role model for many. By doing this ad she has completely destroyed her own image. There are still many females in India who are treated bad because of the colour of their skin, and Priyanka has let them all down.

I'm further wondering how did Saif Ali Khan agree to do such an ad where he is shown as such to be such a shallow person - one who dumps a girl because she is dusky, and then falls in love with her all over again cuz she she has now used the whitening cream and become fair.

Don't these two people realize that they are role-models for youth all over and by doing such ads they are letting down all their fans?

Shame on both of them. Is money so important that they are willing to let all their fans down?


"My Sister's Keeper"

Posted by SMM on 10:29

This book is about Anna who is a 'designer' baby conceived in the test tube for the specific purpose of providing cord blood to her elder sister Kate, who was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia (APL) at the age of two. Anna becomes a donor for her sister from the very second that she enters the world. Her entire existence is defined in terms of her sister. When her sister has a relapse she goes on to provide platelets and bone marrow at the age of six. Though Anna has herself never been ill, she has been in and out of hospitals for as long as she can remember. When her sister's kidney fails Anna who is 13, is the only one who can provide Kate with a chance for survival by donating one of her own kidneys. This is the point where she decides to file a suit against her parents for medical emancipation. Anna demands the right to make her own decisions.

The book is told in a first-person account by 7 people -
  • Anna/ Androemda - She wants the right to make her own medical decisions and is confused as to whether she wants to donate her kidney or not. She loves her sister and her family, but the lawsuit is tearing apart the family. Besides, the doctors have also said that there is no guarantee that Kate will recover even if she does receive the kidney.
  • Kate - She is the one with leukemia and is also Anna's best friend. She is mentally prepared that she is going to die and does not want any more treatment.
  • Jesse - Kate & Anna's older brother who only wants some attention from his parents. He is also a troubled juvenile delinquent and supports Anna with her lawsuit.
  • Sara - Mother of Jesse, Kate & Anna. In her relentless struggle with Kate's illness, she ends up neglecting Anna & Jesse. Forced to fight on two fronts - Kate's illness and Anna's lawsuit - she is forced to choose between the two when all she wants is that her three children be happy and healthy.
  • Brian - Father of Jesse, Kate & Anna and a fireman, he understands very well why Anna has filed this lawsuit. Though he savours every minute spent with Kate, he is mentally prepared for her death and and counsels his wife to also dot he same.
  • Campbell Alexander - Anna's lawyer who tries hard to be emotionally distanced from her, but does ultimately get emotionally involved with Anna and her family - seeing how both are right from their own perspective.
  • Julia - The guardian appointed by the court for Anna, who also happens to be Campbell's ex-girlfriend.
The book raises many pertinent questions and forces one to think -

From Anna's point of view - At the age of 13, is she old enough to take her own medical decisions, especially when she is not the one who is unwell? Is she obligated to donate a kidney to her sister, when she is well aware that there would be various health related complications and there is no guarantee that this would help Kate recover? Does she have any other importance in her parent's eyes, other than being her sister's keeper? Is she being selfish in demanding this right?

From Kate's point of view - Does she have the right to choose not to receive anymore treatment when she is well aware that there is no guarantee if she will ever recover? Does she feel some form of guilt that her siblings have been knowingly or unknowingly neglected by her parents because of her?

From Jesse's point of view - Since he is not the one who is sick nor the one who can donate any blood or organ, does he have any importance in his parent's eyes? Is he justified in trying to get some attention from his parents?

From the parent's point of view - When one child is so seriously ill, have they been wrong in paying extra attention to her? Were they wrong in conceiving Anna as a genetically designed baby? Are they wrong in asking Anna to donate a kidney when there is the smallest chance that her sister may recover? How do they knowingly choose one child's death?

From Campbell's & Julia point of view - Though they are legally and professionally obligated to only look at Anna's well-being, can they do that by isolating her family from her? Can they morally demand for Anna's emancipation when they well know that this would result in Kate's death? How do they keep their past separate from they current professional relation?

As a lawyer as well I found this book a very interesting read. It raises many questions on the right to life and health, whether a 13 year old (who is a minor in the eyes of law) can demand the right to choose for herself, can the parents be forced to choose between one child and the other, whether the judge made the right decision?

As a human I found myself wondering whether Anna was being immature, what would happen if Anna does refuse to give her kidney, were the parents justified in expecting Anna to donate a kidney.

The book's end is rather unexpected and I shall not give it away in the hope that you all will also read it. One warning, after I finally put the book down I had tears in my eyes, so keep a tissue handy.

Posted by SMM on 15:06
I'm bored....the courts are closed.Work pressure is definitely light. And the worst of all is sitting cooped up in office all day. How do people do it? Longing for the courts to reopen. Trying hard to get myself to read up the latest caselaws - but just not in the mood.

Anyway had a welcome change this weekend with a family wedding. my mom was also down to attend the wedding and we had a great time together. Her side of the family is huuuuuge since my grandfather was a part of 9 brothers and 4 sisters and their respective offspring. And the funny thing was that all the 9 brothers were N.K. Sanyal, of which again 7 were professors. Anyway a good thing was that I met some cousins for the first time, or maybe after ages (like 10-12 years), and also various sundry.

My mother was once telling me about this one incident when all the brothers were together and she received a phone call asking to talk to Shri (Mister) N.K. Sanyal so she politely informed the caller that there were 9 of them in the room at that point so the caller would have to specify which one. So the caller said he wanted to talk to Professor Saab (Sir), to which she again replied that there were 7 of them who would answer to that description. Finally the caller says the professor who teaches Mathematics, to whcih she replied there were 4 of them. The caller finally narrowed it to Lucknow University and finally my mother called the concerned Shri N. K. Sanyal.

Hoping to catch a movie this weekend...which seems soooo far away right now. Also busy with planning an alumni reunion for my college next weekend. Hope everything goes off well.


Happy Budday to Me :)

Posted by SMM on 16:16

So it's my 25th budday today...I complete a quarter of a century in this world. I am such a kid when it comes to birthdays (and especially mine :P). For me it means alot when a friend actually does remember and takes the time out to call and wish me. For me it means that I am important to that person. Similarly, I am a fanatic about wishing people on their birthdays.

Anyway I want to thank my parents for having me and tolerating me and feeding me and educating me and screaming at me and putting up with all my nakhras for 23 years. I want to thank my husband who will be doing the same for the next 50 years. And I want to thank all my friends and family who call/ mail/ sms/ scrap/ post and convey their wishes. I feel so handicapped since Orkut and FB have been blocked in office and I can't even thank them all. So for those of you reading this

"Thank you for wishing me and making my day even more special :)"


Posted by SMM on 11:37
When I was at the grand old double-figure age of ten and considered myself a big big girl, and being highly inspired by the tales of midnight feasts and tuck boxes and lacrosse and half term in all the schoolgirl tales which were my favourite at that time, I decided to present my case to my parents that the following year (after my 11th birthday) they ought to send me to Malory Towers or St. Claire or best of all, the Chalet School. I was very excited at the thought of studying with girls of different nationalities and religions and learning French and German and Latin and actually having talking French on Monday and German on Tuesday...and of course the exciting sounding food like jam tarts and ginger ale and custard pie and stuffed chicken etc etc (any day waaaaaaay more intersting than dal, chawal/ roti and bhindi ki sabzi cuz that was the only sabzi I ate as a ten year old). So to cut a long story short my father very sweetly informed me that this is all fiction, the imagination of the authors and that I being their beloved little girl was not going to be sent to any hostel so I would just have to be happy with the school I was currently going to. I tried convincing him that there wasn't much fun in having midnight feasts in the classroom at 10:30 in the morning , but I tell you parents have no imagination whatsoever.

Anyway by the time I was old enough to get to college my parents told me that they would rather that I go to a hostel and learn some valuable lessons in life like they both did at that age. However circumstances had changed very much by then and this time it was me who reluctant to go. So as I said parents just don't understand and I was packed off to Pune to stay in the Lalitadevi Deviprasad Kejriwal Girl's Hostel (LDK in short).

Yes we did have our matron being Damle Mam who had the loudest burps ever and could be heard all over the two floors of our hostel. I learnt to share a room and not listen to music at high volumes and stuff newspaper under the door so that the light cannot be seen at the corridoor and smuggle chicken into our rooms and after eating spray perfume (it was a vegetarian hostel) and mix the rice and sabzi and have it all with huge thali sized rotis and actually eat for the very first time in my life. I learned that if my money got over on the 20th of the month I still had to wait for the first Sunday of the next month for my money to come and no amount of wheedling would help. I learnt to survive on bread and maggi on the last Sunday of the month for dinner cuz the mess was closed. I learnt how to live with other people and adjust and become a more tolerable human and learnt that we would not always see the movie which I wanted to see and learnt how to whack that pink tee from my roommate's cupboard. I learnt about getting up at 8:55am sharp on a Sunday to receive the 9 am call from the parents. I learnt how happy my mom would get when I took back alphonso mangoes for her after my exams. I learnt about fighting my battles and also finding a PG for when our hostel was to be closed down and then telling my mom after I had found the PG to send the money to pay my deposit. I learnt about making friends and keeping them and letting go of those who don't deserve to be a friend. I learnt about waking up a freind at 1 am before I crashed. I learnt about sending a 100 smses a day when the whole world and his uncle had free messaging (this was when incoming calls were made free and we all had just got cell phones). I learnt about the value of keeping my word. I learnt about the follies of keeping things and papers off till the last minute. I learnt about the cheapest eating spots and walking home from college to save ten bucks. I learnt about buying that green top and then staying home to miss the next party cuz I didn't have money. I learnt about going up for dinner at 7:30 to pick out the aalus (potatoes) from the bhaji(vegetables) and then laughing a year later when the freshers did the same thing thinking that noone would catch them doing it. I learnt to enjoy midnight conversations on the swing in our backyard with big mugs of steaming coffee in hand and blankets wrapped around us. I learnt to enjoy the fun of midnight bike rides and throwing notes over the wall. I learnt that how to keep the watchman happy by slipping him a tenner once in a while so that I can return late and not be reported. I learnt how to use my 6 late passes a month wisely for the saturday nights and two in between. I learnt about losing my atm card and calling home in tears. I learnt about waking up at 5 am and walking up the hill to watch the sunrise and then enjoying poha n coffee at the tapri. I learnt to value home and ghar ka khana. I learnt about companiable silences and joyous reunions after the vacations. I learnt that it was not the end of the world when I almost flunked a paper but just had to pull up my socks n study harder the next sem. I learnt how to get rid of the unwanted guys. I learnt how to sit in the library a week before the exams so that I wouldn't sleep off at home. I learnt about friends who became family and who held your hair back as you puked and heated up water for you to gargle when you had bad cough. I learnt about friends who lent me their last 100 bucks cuz I just had to make an emergency trip to the parlour before my hot date. I learnt about how much I was going to miss my friends when I cried buckets while packing.I learnt how much I was going to miss this life when five years later as the train pulled out of the station I had tears in my eyes.

Two years later I still miss that life. And I know that when my kids (whenever I have them) I will certainly send them to hostel (though not when they'r ten) and depiste my vows not to do so I shall also not send them money when they'v finished it before the end of the month.

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